Having the strength to say no can be hard, but it can also make you feel good to stick with what you believe in. Explain in a calm way why you don’t want to be part of something, and you might earn respect from others and gain confidence in yourself.
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” – Lewis B. Smedes
The person you hold a grudge against isn’t necessarily hurt by this – they go on living their life whilst you are the one stuck dwelling on the things you feel they did. You are the one that continues to hurt inside, while the other person is out dancing.
Being with people who like doing similar things may help you avoid a situation where you feel pressured into things you don’t want to do. Hanging with the “cool crowd” won’t be as much fun as it looks if you don’t like the decisions that crowd is making.
Here are some suggestions that can help you manage peer pressure better: value common interests; say no; try not to judge others; take action and stand up for yourself and others.
The only way to get through a feeling is to acknowledge it and let yourself feel it. Let yourself feel angry/sad/hurt/frustrated. Don’t let it fill you up so full that you break apart and hurt the people around you.
Sometimes when you lash out at others, it’s because you’re fighting against your natural feelings of hurt and pain. You’re bottling it up so tight, like a fizzy drink that has been shaken too much.
Learn to look at all of yourself from the most loving perspective. You are the exact right combination of experiences, insights, strengths, and imperfections that make a person whole.
Maybe you’re feeling like you’re not okay. You’re still whole. Trust in the process of working it out as you go and picking up the little gems along the way. No part of this needs to be perfect. Take any step in the direction that feels closer to whole.
Sometimes a counsellor is needed to help when the emotional pain is just too much and you can’t get a grasp on it. There is nothing wrong with this. Painful events in life can seem too much to bear, and speaking to a counsellor will help.