Short messages on Positive change from Respect Yourself, the guidance site for young people to help make good decisions in life.
If your pet has died, try not to obsess over “When am I going to get over this?”. Instead, focus on small steps in your adjustment process: put away the leash; be able to pass the park without getting upset; and, eventually, feel the urge to get a new one.
You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life. It won’t always be easy. Everyone has a stack of obstacles in front of them. You must take accountability for your situation, and overcome these obstacles.
Own your choices and mistakes. Be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them. Take accountability for your life, or someone else will – and when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams, instead of a pioneer of your own.
While you want to visualise the big picture and see yourself happily adjusted to a major change occurring, you also need to focus your energies on the here and now of the adjustment process, in your adaptation to the new reality that faces you.
Major life changes, like a car accident or winning the lottery, can “happen overnight”, but your adjustment period won’t. Try to visualise the stages of the change and imagine the end of the process, when you have adjusted to the new circumstances.
Learn to look at all of yourself from the most loving perspective. You are the exact right combination of experiences, insights, strengths, and imperfections that make a person whole.
Maybe you’re feeling like you’re not okay. You’re still whole. Trust in the process of working it out as you go and picking up the little gems along the way. No part of this needs to be perfect. Take any step in the direction that feels closer to whole.
Some changes will be very unexpected. Accept it as a new chapter in your life; as a fresh opportunity to gain knowledge or experience in a new area, or a chance to discover new people, new places and new skills.
Change will happen. You may be, at least initially, resistant to these changes. You cannot always control either the changes or your initial hesitancy. You can control your larger response to the changes. To do so requires your active participation.
All the things you’ve done and the things you’ve seen, the people you’ve known, the heartbreaks you’ve stitched back together, the plans you’ve made, and the plans you’ve had to let go, the celebrations and growing pains are part of your wholeness.