Short messages on Positive change from Respect Yourself, the guidance site for young people to help make good decisions in life.
You’ve said just the right thing at the right time, and said things you didn’t mean. You’ve been right and wrong, hard and soft, fearless and afraid. You’ve felt pride, shame, joy, sorrow, serenity, distress. And you will again.
The shift toward feeling whole is about loving the whole of yourself fully and openly. Not in spite of the flaws but including the flaws. It’s the parts of you that you don’t want to see, that are struggling to keep up, that need your love the most.
Recognising your wholeness does not mean striving for perfection. Being whole means seeing perfection and imperfection, hurting and healing, fear and courage, the shadows and the light, as parts of yourself. These are all part of your wholeness.
If you want to feel more appreciative instantly, change your ‘I have to’ statements to ‘I get to’. ‘I get to walk across town’ will help you appreciate the the sights, sounds, smells and movement you encounter that others may not be able to.
We spend so much of our time focusing on what is lacking in our lives. We focus on being, doing, and having more in our lives. When we focus on more, we become blind to all we are, all we can do and all we have in our lives, right now.
“Be thankful for what you have, you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” ~ Oprah Winfrey
Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?
There’s no “one size fits all” way to feel comfortable and enough within ourselves. There are many different paths to the same destination, and the right path for us is the one that fits our values, feels truthful, and helps us connect with whom we truly are.
Gently challenge your inner critic by asking “Is that really true?”, “What are the other alternatives here?”, “How would I respond if my best friend was telling me this?” and “Who would I be without this belief? What would I do differently?”
Everyone feels like or fears they are not good enough at some point or another. Fearing that we are not good enough doesn’t make us not good enough; it just makes us human. Remembering this can help you feel less alone if you’re feeling “not good enough”.