Short messages on Self-esteem and body confidence issues from Respect Yourself, the guidance site for young people to help make good decisions in life.
Whilst having low self-esteem is not your fault, recognise that self-esteem is a product of your mind. It’s in your hands to change it and improve it until it is something that comes naturally to you. It will simply be who you are.
Much as it may feel like it, your problem is not the biggest. Other people have lived through it. Your situation is not impossible to solve.
Know who you are and who you’re not. Value your abilities, your skills, your talents and your potential. You are a unique individual, and as such, invaluable.
Ask yourself, in what pictures do you want to fit? You are a perfect fit for many people and many situations, where your best is enough.
See yourself as a piece of a puzzle. With some people you will be a perfect fit, with others you will never fit no matter how hard you try. You’re a perfect fit in one or more pictures, but not in all the pictures – and this is okay and normal!
There are three key concepts for helping you improve your self esteem: accepting yourself as you are; knowing that it’s you who defines your self image; and learning to let go of what doesn’t serve you.
You don’t need negative thoughts. All they have ever given you is a false self that suffers for no reason.
Try giving up all the thoughts that make you feel bad, or even just some of them, for the rest of the day. See how doing that changes your life.
When people undermine your dreams, predict your doom and criticise you, they’re telling you their own story, not yours. Ignore their doubts.
You are meant to be different. When you accept this, there is nothing for the inner critic to complain about, and no reason to compare yourself to someone or something you aren’t.