Short messages on Mental health, stress and anxiety issues from Respect Yourself, the guidance site for young people to help make good decisions in life.
Family conflict can be caused by: you feeling that you’re being treated like a child; feeling like they do not respect your right to privacy; changes in the family caused by separation, divorce, a new baby, moving to a new house or even to a new country.
Common causes of conflict or arguments with parents or guardians can include: when your own opinions and values are different; misunderstanding each other, jumping to the wrong conclusions, or lack of communication; wanting more independence than they’re willing to give you.
In family disagreements, some people lose their temper and become intentionally hurtful, aggressive or even violent. But there are ways to defuse the conflict and help bring about a peaceful result, even if the final decision is a compromise or agreeing to disagree.
Families sometimes disagree with each other and the occasional tension or argument is part of family life. However, ongoing arguments and tension can be stressful and overwhelming.
Families can cause a lot of stress and may not be the right place to find someone to talk to about your problem. Even if they are understanding, you may still not want to talk to them about what is troubling you. You can always talk to a teacher, mental health professional or a friend.
To figure out who you can talk to in your family about an issue, ask: Will they give me a hard time? Will they make me more upset? Can they offer me the help I need? Will our talk be kept secret? If I tell them something personal, will they think differently of me?
Practice responding to distressing emotional states with grounding techniques and self-soothing strategies. If these are difficult or you need additional help, counselling can help you develop coping strategies, new perspectives and skills for managing difficult emotions.
If your emotions feel particularly intense, try an activity to make you feel better: run around; do 100 jumping jacks; put on the radio and dance; listen to a funny comedian; hold, stroke and hug a pet, pillow or teddy bear.
It is natural to feel like you don’t want to let your family down with your personal problems but remember in most families, they only care about you. Sometimes a family member that is not in your immediate family like an uncle, cousin and grandparent might be the right person to talk to.
There might be several members of your family that you can talk to. Some families have “family meetings” to go over problems or big decisions. Talking to an older family member can be good because they may have had a similar problem or concern in the past.