Short messages on Mental health, stress and anxiety issues from Respect Yourself, the guidance site for young people to help make good decisions in life.
Hurt people hurt people, however healed people heal people. If you work on your issues and work towards healing, you will feel able to go out into the world and spread that good energy that comes from you feeling healed.
We should stop ourselves from jumping to conclusions and not let misunderstandings become false facts we pass judgement on. Instead, commit to simply asking questions and then seek to understand one another’s views to eliminate grudges before they begin.
Jumping to conclusions and holding a grudge is like locking yourself in prison for a crime you think someone else committed, and doing it before you’ve even investigated to know if a crime actually took place or not.
Throughout the day, take “minibreaks.” Sit down and get comfortable, slowly take a deep breath in, hold it, and then exhale very slowly. At the same time, let your shoulder muscles droop, smile, and say something positive like, “I am r-e-l-a-x-e-d.”
To manage stress you can: learn to relax; take a deep breath; practise acceptance; talk rationally to yourself; get organised; exercise; manage your time; have quiet time; watch your habits; know your limits; talk to others about it; practise visualisation.
Beating yourself up over lashing out at someone isn’t going to help you or the person you hurt. Instead, take responsibility for your actions, apologise sincerely (because if they matter, you truly will be sorry) and keep moving forward.
Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.
Grudge-holders don’t always understand how much strain on themselves holding a grudge causes. It takes a significant amount of mental and emotional energy to keep the steady stream of hostility and aggression (or passive-aggression) that supports a grudge.
Many grudges are simply misunderstandings that people didn’t talk through. One person assumes something about the other person and labels it as fact in their own mind. Then they hold onto it, and pass judgement based on it, and then feel resentment.
Taking part in a nature survey might involve counting birds, animals or insects in a particular time and place, or reporting individual sightings of wildlife. Annual surveys include the Big Garden Birdwatch and the Big Butterfly Count.