Short messages on Relationships issues from Respect Yourself, the guidance site for young people to help make good decisions in life.
If you go on a date with, or hang out with, someone that makes you feel bad about yourself – they’re not good enough for you! Don’t try and be “better” or fit in with what you think they want. Be yourself!
Remember that, whilst it can be painful, sometimes we have to move on from a friendship that’s gone wrong. You may not have all the same people as friends as you grow through life.
There’s room in your heart for more than one friend. You love your parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters. You don’t have have less of a friendship because your friend has other friends.
Never feel if you’ve had big struggles in your life, you have to tell your date everything about your personal problems. Respect yourself enough to know you’re allowed some privacy. As you get to know someone, you build trust to tell them what you want to.
Don’t use alcohol to cover nerves on a date. Many think a ‘few more’ will relax them. The reality is, that can lead to bad choices. Nerves are acceptable. If you worry your nerves come across as being aloof, joke about the fact you feel quite nervous; they may appreciate the honesty.
Friendships don’t have to be perfect, because no relationship is perfect. Friendships impact your well-being and mental health, so make sure yours are positive, healthy and supportive for both you and your friend.
Let your friends know what they mean to you, why you think they’re great, and praise their good qualities. They may not hear this from others, and they will value your support.
On a date, focus on them and ask what they get up to, where they hang out, what they enjoy doing. Showing interest in them is crucial to a happy experience.
You don’t have to be the best conversationalist on a date, just talk about things that matter to you – maybe music, films, politics. Use your interests to start a chat, for example about music, asking what they’re listening to.
You may have a great group of friends, and that shouldn’t stop you from reaching out to those who don’t.