Short messages on Relationships issues from Respect Yourself, the guidance site for young people to help make good decisions in life.
Be a friend to yourself and let a friend’s drama go when you walk away. A lot of the drama we experience in life comes from our interpretations of the things we experience – particularly after the moments have passed.
Sometimes what we’re labeling as drama is just someone who really needs us. Instead of using mental energy judging the situation as good or bad, focus on being there and being a friend in the moment.
When you react to a conflict situation, you allow emotions to lead your words and actions. Instead, responding to the situation means you keep emotions in check and focus on the problem, not the person. Let them know your intention to work out a mutually acceptable solution.
“Resolving conflict” is the bomb disposal equivalent of communication skills. Conflict often happens as a result of poor communication. Avoiding conflict is not the same as resolving conflict.
Let people know that they can be honest with you. If someone thinks they need to walk on eggshells around you, they’ll likely hold things in – but those things will come out eventually, if not in words, in resentful actions.
A lot of drama comes from poor communication and confusion. Eliminate it by finding the courage to say exactly what you mean. It may be harder in the moment, but it can save a lot of heartache in the long run.
When someone is sharing a problem, give encouragement. Offer to help if possible. Show the kindness and compassion you would hope to receive from someone else when in a similar situation.
When someone opens up with his problems, see it from his point of view. Suspend your own judgment of what’s right or wrong. Listen to his emotions. Reflect back his vulnerability by sharing yours.
“Drama comes about because of either misunderstanding or overreaction. Be as honest and open in all cases as possible. Quell your own negative emotions, which will in turn diffuse the negative emotions of others.” – Vito Ruiz
“If I have an issue with someone I go straight to them to talk about it, and I don’t talk to anyone else about it if they aren’t involved. Gossip breeds drama!” – Kristie Sherman