Short messages on Mental health, stress and anxiety issues from Respect Yourself, the guidance site for young people to help make good decisions in life.
To make friends, try to make yourself go to new safe situations where you will meet people with interests in common. Choose activities that you are genuinely interested in and try to enjoy them – whether it is a Society, sport or even some voluntary work.
If you’re in a new school/club/job and feeling lonely, don’t wait for other people to speak to you. Try to talk to people you sit next to, maybe suggest going for a coffee. Say hello, or even just smile, with other people you sit with or pass in the corridor.
If you eliminate “always” and “never” from your vocabulary, you will feel less limited and more confident in your potential.
“I’m not good enough”, “My parents really screwed me up”, “Things never work out for me”, “I’m too messed up”, “I always make the wrong decisions”, “I don’t deserve success or happiness because…”: these are all stories we tell ourselves.
Changing the situation may involve finding and developing a circle of friends, but it may also mean finding ways of learning to enjoy your own company – to use that time more constructively and pleasurably.
Remember that feeling lonely is very common. Almost everyone feels it at some point. It is a sign that important needs are not being met. And it is something that can be changed.
When you change your stories – your beliefs about yourself, your past, and your present – you set the wheels in motion to change your life. Regardless of your unique life experiences, you can change your stories.
The stories you tell yourself about yourself may seem like facts, but they are actually beliefs based on interpretations of facts. That means that these stories don’t have to have power over you.
Negative feelings are only negative if they’re excessive and enduring. We won’t hurt ourselves into eternal misery if we let ourselves feel what we need to feel. And we don’t have to feel bad nearly as often as we think.
We can identify what we want to say yes to in life and choose that, before struggling with whether or not to say no to someone else. If you love dancing, take a class. Don’t worry about where it’s leading. Do it just because you love it.