Short messages on Mental health, stress and anxiety issues from Respect Yourself, the guidance site for young people to help make good decisions in life.
Writing down your feelings in a journal or private online space can be a great way to gain some insight into a situation and reduce the power of unrealistic expectations. Expressing yourself creatively can also help you think about alternative solutions to problems.
If you’re feeling stressed, sometimes getting some space and a change of scenery can be helpful. It’s important to give yourself permission to do this regularly. Go for a walk, listen to music, read a book, or go to the cinema – whatever works for you.
The Universe does not owe you anything. Be grateful for any blessings that you have. Do not let anything slip away. No matter what happens, try to enjoy the life you have. No-one else can enjoy it for you.
As long as you are living, something wonderful could happen at any moment. Life may have lows that you never expected and that you did not foresee, but it also will have highs that you never dreamed of that will bring you joy beyond your wildest imagination.
Sometimes expectations are focused on one outcome and if you don’t meet it, you might feel disappointed or like you’ve failed…but usually there are a number of ways to achieve a goal. Try to have a couple of strategies for achieving your goals.
Sometimes it can be helpful to re-think your own expectations. This can help you decide if your goals are achievable. It can help to ask yourself, “What would I suggest to a friend in this situation?”
Sadly, death happens, and life still goes on. With your family and friends, support each other to give you all the strength and energy to get through these circumstances.
When a loved one dies, it’s important to remember you could not have changed the circumstances surrounding the loss. You could not have prevented it in any way.
It is not your fault that bad things happen that are beyond your control. Blaming yourself will take you down a long and lonely road with no end in sight. Guilt is a hard taskmaster with no mercy.
Sometimes a person who is setting unreasonable expectations might be unaware that they are putting unfair pressure on you. When you talk to them, it might be helpful to say something like “When you treat me like this, then I feel…”