Short messages on Mental health, stress and anxiety issues from Respect Yourself, the guidance site for young people to help make good decisions in life.
Many times, small sibling arguments are triggered by bigger issues. They borrowed something and didn’t return it, or they told your parents about something you did wrong. You might think they get more attention, or that people unfairly compare you to them.
You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life. It won’t always be easy. Everyone has a stack of obstacles in front of them. You must take accountability for your situation, and overcome these obstacles.
Own your choices and mistakes. Be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them. Take accountability for your life, or someone else will – and when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams, instead of a pioneer of your own.
While you want to visualise the big picture and see yourself happily adjusted to a major change occurring, you also need to focus your energies on the here and now of the adjustment process, in your adaptation to the new reality that faces you.
Major life changes, like a car accident or winning the lottery, can “happen overnight”, but your adjustment period won’t. Try to visualise the stages of the change and imagine the end of the process, when you have adjusted to the new circumstances.
Siblings often compete over their parents’ attention. This is called sibling rivalry, and it could be the reason why you fight with your siblings – but it doesn’t mean you’ll never get along with your brother or sister, or that you can’t be good friends.
The hardest people to get along with can be the people you’re closest to – like your brothers and sisters. The relationships that you have with your siblings can be a lot more complex than those you have with others, which can cause you to get more upset.
Some changes will be very unexpected. Accept it as a new chapter in your life; as a fresh opportunity to gain knowledge or experience in a new area, or a chance to discover new people, new places and new skills.
Change will happen. You may be, at least initially, resistant to these changes. You cannot always control either the changes or your initial hesitancy. You can control your larger response to the changes. To do so requires your active participation.
Sometimes a counsellor is needed to help when the emotional pain is just too much and you can’t get a grasp on it. There is nothing wrong with this. Painful events in life can seem too much to bear, and speaking to a counsellor will help.