The complete list of all life-guiding messages for young people – click the titles for further information
If you’re concerned that your friend isn’t behaving normally, it’s important to encourage them to talk to someone trustworthy like a doctor. If you think they are likely to hurt themselves or someone else, find help immediately – even if they don’t want you to.
While many of us place a lot of worth on external achievement, there are many variables beyond our control that influence the outcome of a situation. Even if we do our best and do everything right, we might still feel “not good enough” because those external variables mean we didn’t get the gold star.
Others have different ideas about what “good enough” means and looks like, but you have no control over that. There will always be someone who is more talented, more accomplished, more X and more Y than you are. The only person it’s helpful for you to compare yourself to is the “you” from yesterday.
When stressed, our inner critic is usually loudest. What is needed is a kinder, compassionate and soothing self. Try soothing words of comfort to say to yourself, such as “I know this is a difficult time for you”, “You are not alone”, “I believe in you.”
Self-soothing techniques include: taking a warm shower or bubble bath, going out into the warm sunshine, lighting scented candles or oil, listening to calming music, playing with or petting your pet, wrapping yourself in a blanket, and drinking hot chocolate slowly.
Peer pressure isn’t always a negative thing. It can be a positive influence and help challenge or motivate you to do your best. It’s helpful to recognise that peer pressure can also be negative, and can result in you doing something that doesn’t fit with your sense of right and wrong.
You might try to live up to other people’s expectations, but it’s important to be mindful to not have other people’s expectations cloud what you want. If you’re dealing with peer pressure, you’re not the only one.
For those who have a mental health issue, there might be periods of time when things aren’t manageable. Harder times can be triggered if your friend is stressed, or if he or she has recently experienced a traumatic event or changed medication, which can trigger the characteristics of the mental illness.
Having the contact numbers of people like your friend’s doctor could be important if you need to help your friend through a crisis, or if your friend is saying or doing things that worry you about his or her safety.
If you try something and it doesn’t work out, it might feel painful in the short-term, but you’ll feel much better and prouder of yourself looking back and knowing you’ve tried, than looking back at a missed opportunity.