Short messages on Relationships issues from Respect Yourself, the guidance site for young people to help make good decisions in life.
It can feel great when we talk about ourselves, especially if there is something we are proud of – but we shouldn’t make the conversation consistently about ourselves. A real conversation is not a monologue, or about trying to constantly impress everyone.
We should focus our full attention on someone when they are speaking to us instead of getting wrapped up in what we’ll say next. When we listen to what others are saying, they feel more connected to us, even if we don’t say that much.
Provide support when it makes sense, even when people are cold and unfriendly. Some people are rude and complain as an unconcious way of crying for help. Do something nice for them. An “Are you okay?” or “Is there anything I can do to help you?” can sometimes do wonders.
It’s not rude or unreasonable to ask for, or give, basic respect. People should treat you and your boundaries with some level of respect, just as you should treat them with the same.
“Is this situation going to matter a year from now? If not, it’s not worth worrying about.” – Angela Orr
“I zoom out in my mind to a point far enough away and above so that I can see things in my life for what they are. By doing this, I can see from a distance how small and unimportant the situation is in the big scope of the universe.” – Larry Stilts
You may look insecure and vindictive if you gossip about others; this risks losing more than just the friend or friends about whom you have gossiped, as other friends realise that you can’t be trusted.
Ask yourself what talking about others says about you. Consider how you end up looking when you talk about friends behind their back; the friends you gossip to may not trust you with personal information in the future and may distance themselves from you.
Mentally or physically excuse yourself from a conversation that becomes too full of gossip, to avoid falling into gossip games or socialising-by-demoralising. Leave any conversation that stoops to the level of gossiping.
Revenge as a motivation for doing anything is always a total fail. It reveals a lack of self-respect, a lack of respect for others and a lack of self-restraint or personal responsibility for your actions.