Even if your friend and significant other have one thing in common (you), they can still be totally different people with different tastes, interests and senses of humour. Having to spend time with someone you didn’t choose to hang out with can be difficult.
Celebrate any little, or big, changes you have made. For example, if you used to worry about what people thought of you, and you now discover you’re more concerned with what you think of yourself.
Have options ready if a negotiation fails. Show them you’re looking for a win-win outcome by satisfying their basic interests too. It’s sometimes better to agree to less than you both wanted collectively to enjoy a mutually beneficial relationship in the long run.
To negotiate effectively, be assertive. Have options. Seek a win-win outcome. Recognise that if someone wants to negotiate, you both have something the other needs. Be assertive in asking for what you want.
Ask questions that could lead to interesting answers. Keep your questions open-ended, which cannot be answered with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Let your questions come from a place of genuine curiosity. Consider how others can benefit from the answers.
Our power comes from realising we don’t need to act on pain; and if we need to diffuse it, we can channel it into something healthy and productive, like writing, painting, or doing something physical.
You can feel the pain and know it will pass. You can sit in the discomfort and wait before acting. There will come a time when you feel healed and empowered.
Using the phrase “just get over it” means someone’s feelings are being ignored. As well as not working, it will harm them and stop them sharing their feelings in the future.
Deal with situations as they arise instead of logging them all in a black book that you pull out later to use as evidence against someone. If there’s an argument, fight or issue, resolve issues as they happen instead of letting a debt build up.
When bad things happen to us, we can feel incredibly helpless. Sometimes the way we fight back against this feeling is by making negative thinking a default way of life. It satisfies our need for a sense of control over our lives and keeps us from being disappointed when disaster happens.