Next time a negative situation or issue arises and you’re tempted to brush it under the rug, stop. Don’t brush it under the rug where it’s still there, just hidden. Resolve it, brush it into the trash and then take the trash out.
Suppressing your feelings regularly will only result in an emotional overload. Bottle them up for too long and they explode. Avoiding conflict and brushing things under the rug does not mean they’ll go away, it means they’ll come back later, but with firepower behind them.
Painful things don’t go away because you ignore them. Negative situations cause negative emotions. It is vital to everyone’s emotional health to work it out and not brush it under the rug.
Learning to solve conflict and issues in healthy ways will give you an advantage as you go through life. Your relationships will be healthier and you’ll be more self-confident because you believe in your ability to get through challenges.
Teachers won’t always like your papers. Friends will be jerks. Bosses will ask challenging questions and professors will give constructive (but not always) criticism. Learning to accept this, and to deal productively with healthy conflict, will help you be more resilient.
Offering reconciliation in conflict can be more important than actually coming to a solution; it shows the person how much you value the relationship. Clearly and calmly communicate what you want from the situation and listen to their views. Understand what counts as a ‘win’ from both sides.
When you react to a conflict situation, you allow emotions to lead your words and actions. Instead, responding to the situation means you keep emotions in check and focus on the problem, not the person. Let them know your intention to work out a mutually acceptable solution.
“Resolving conflict” is the bomb disposal equivalent of communication skills. Conflict often happens as a result of poor communication. Avoiding conflict is not the same as resolving conflict.