If we choose to foster a sense of inner peace, challenge our perceptions and interpretations when our emotions could use some schooling, and learn to take responsibility for our joy, we can not only minimise pain; we can choose to be a source of pleasure, for ourselves and the people around us.
Loneliness can make you feel: unloved and unwanted, socially inadequate, convinced that there is something wrong with you, self-conscious and ill-at-ease with others, and angry and critical of others. Remember you can take action against loneliness, and help others who are feeling the same.
You can feel lonely when: you are alone and have no choice about the matter; you do not feel part of a group or event; there is no-one you feel you can share your feelings and experiences with; you feel disconnected and alienated from your surroundings.
Moving out and leaving home means a lot of changes: in lifestyle, work patterns and degree of independence. Having a support network of friends, family, colleagues (at work) or Student Services (at University) can help you deal with the changes without becoming overwhelmed or feeling isolated.
Some people are more at ease in groups, and others in one-to-one situations. Think about what you prefer. Find others with similar outlooks and interests. Remember that, despite what it might seem, not everyone is interested in sport or going to pubs.
Long-lasting and fulfilling friendships take time to grow. Try not to be too critical of yourself and your efforts, and be patient. Build that friendship which you want for yourself by being a good friend to others.
Don’t deprive yourself of doing something you want to do just because you have no-one to go with you, like going to a movie or a concert. All the people including you are there to enjoy themselves having a shared experience, so make the best of it.
Next time a negative situation or issue arises and you’re tempted to brush it under the rug, stop. Don’t brush it under the rug where it’s still there, just hidden. Resolve it, brush it into the trash and then take the trash out.
Suppressing your feelings regularly will only result in an emotional overload. Bottle them up for too long and they explode. Avoiding conflict and brushing things under the rug does not mean they’ll go away, it means they’ll come back later, but with firepower behind them.
It’s impossible for you to control someone else’s emotions. Don’t let someone who is angry ruin your day. Choose kindness and act with compassion.