Short messages on Mental health, stress and anxiety issues from Respect Yourself, the guidance site for young people to help make good decisions in life.
We all tell ourselves stories about ourselves and our lives that keep us feeling unfulfilled, unhappy, and powerless to change. And though we may sometimes feel alone with our struggles and fears, they’re the same for many of us.
We often find it easier to never question why we’re doing what we’re doing, and whether it’s actually serving our needs, desires, hopes, and dreams. It’s easier to continue with things as they are than it is to imagine how they could be.
Being more reactive than active is a decision to let the outside world dictate how we feel. We don’t need to sit around waiting for other people to evoke our feelings. Instead, we can take responsibility to create our world as we want it.
Pain is sometimes an indication we need to set boundaries, learn to say no more often, or take better care of ourselves.
If we keep telling ourselves the same old limiting stories, we live the story of now based on a sad one from before. We can change how we interpret yesterday, how we view ourselves in response, and how we live today as a result.
Often we allow our feelings and beliefs about the past to limit our effectiveness and happiness in the present. Even though we want to let go, we don’t know how to live a life that doesn’t revolve around our former pain.
Acknowledge and own the problem of negative thinking patterns. Understand that only you can choose how you react to your circumstances. Only you can challenge your negative thinking and change your life. Reclaim your power to choose a different response.
Avoid blaming circumstances or other people for how you feel. When we blame, we surrender our power and ability to change our thoughts and feelings. We put ourselves at the mercy and whims of our environment and other people.
Our power comes from realising we don’t need to act on pain; and if we need to diffuse it, we can channel it into something healthy and productive, like writing, painting, or doing something physical.
You can feel the pain and know it will pass. You can sit in the discomfort and wait before acting. There will come a time when you feel healed and empowered.