Short messages on Mental health, stress and anxiety issues from Respect Yourself, the guidance site for young people to help make good decisions in life.
As we go about our day, doing small mindful things such as noticing the sensations of things, the food we eat, and the air moving past the body as we walk, has huge power to interrupt our ‘autopilot’ mode we often use day to day, and gives us new perspectives on life.
Most of us have issues that we find hard to let go and mindfulness can help us deal with them more productively. We can ask: ‘Is trying to solve this by brooding about it helpful, or am I just getting caught up in my thoughts?’
When you’re feeling down, try to examine your thoughts. If they’re negative or critical, challenge them. Once you get into the habit of disputing negative self-talk you’ll find it easier to handle difficult situations, and as a result you’ll feel less stressed and more confident and in control.
Sometimes you might confuse your thoughts or feelings with reality, or assume that your perceptions are correct. Ask yourself: Am I thinking this way just because I’m feeling bad right now? Just because I’m feeling this way, does that mean my perceptions are correct?
The phrase “Hurt people hurt people” means that people who are hurting lash out at others, causing them pain, whether intentionally or not. You can choose to take in that anger and lash out in return, or you can choose to rise above and react to that person with compassion and understanding.
“Those who hurt us are usually hurting themselves, and their pain may be so strong that they are not even aware they are hurting us.” – Joyce Meyers
Mindfulness lets us stand back from our thoughts and start to see their patterns. We can train ourselves to notice when our thoughts are taking over and realise that thoughts are simply ‘mental events’ that do not have to control us.
Mindfulness allows us to become more aware of the stream of thoughts and feelings that we experience, and to see how we can become entangled in that stream in ways that are not helpful.
When you over-generalise, you exaggerate the frequency of negative things in your life, like mistakes, disapproval and failures. You might think to yourself: I always make mistakes, or everyone thinks I’m stupid. Instead, be specific: What are the facts? What are my interpretations?
When things go wrong, you might have a tendency to exaggerate the consequences and imagine that the results will be disastrous. What’s the worst/best/most likely that can happen? Will this matter in five years? Is there anything good about the situation, or a way to fix it?