The complete list of all life-guiding messages for young people – click the titles for further information
When you think that something has to go exactly to plan or it’s a total failure, you’re less likely to try things, less open to feedback that will help you improve, and less likely to grow.
Self-soothing techniques help you relax and feel calm when you are feeling overwhelmed physically and emotionally. It does not mean you are running away from a situation, it means you are actively calming yourself so you can deal with it better.
Some grounding techniques include: touching various objects around you; stretching; walking slowly and noticing each footstep; noticing each inhale and exhale of your breathing; feeling the sensation of wiggling your toes inside your socks; eating fruit and describing the flavours to yourself.
Peer pressure often happens because you don’t want to be alone or left out, so you go with what other people think in order for them to include you. A peer can be anyone around the same age as you, like a friend, classmate, or even someone you’ve seen on TV and admire.
Peer pressure is the influence you feel from a person or group of people to do something you might not otherwise consider doing. It’s not uncommon to want to be part of a group and feel like you belong in a community, especially if you are new or less experienced than the people around you.
There might be times when your friend says that he or she isn’t able to hang out because of their illness. It’s important that you respect this and don’t put extra pressure on your friend.
Make sure that the conversations you have about your friend’s illness are easy and open. Try asking about what helps your friend get through the tough times. By talking openly, you’re letting your friend know that you love and support them.
Focus on “getting better” at something rather than “being perfect” at something. Instead of tying our self-worth to achievement and seeing ourselves either as a success or a failure, understand that skills, capability and achievement are things we can influence with our beliefs and behaviour.
Telling yourself something needs to be perfect to be “good enough” sets yourself up for failure. “Good enough” exists on a spectrum, influenced by the situation, the context and other things that are happening in life, as well as your well-being, values, and priorities.
You can try a variety of grounding techniques and rate the effectiveness of each technique in keeping you calm. Have others assist you in using these techniques by reminding you to practice them and use them as soon as you are feeling emotionally distressed.