Research by the New Economics Foundation has shown that people who introduce the following five steps into their lifestyle can improve their mental wellbeing: Connect, Be active, Take notice, Keep learning, Give.
People who choose the way they think about things, are at peace with the past, live in the present, and are optimistic about the future; and as a result are generally happier.
While you’re learning to identify and challenge your thinking patterns, it’s a good idea to write down the changes that occur in a diary or notebook to help you to develop your skills. This helps you see the advantages of working on your thoughts, and motivates you to keep at it.
To develop an awareness of thoughts and feelings, some people find it helpful to silently name them: “Here’s the thought that I might fail that exam”. Or, “This is anxiety”.
Mindfulness isn’t about making bad thoughts go away, but about seeing them as mental events. Imagine standing at a bus station and seeing ‘thought buses’ coming and going without having to get on them and be taken away. With gentle persistence this is possible.
You don’t have to take abuse from anyone. No-one deserves to be abused. You are allowed to walk away, to stick up for yourself, to say “I understand that you are hurting, but I can’t allow it to hurt me in return.”
As we go about our day, doing small mindful things such as noticing the sensations of things, the food we eat, and the air moving past the body as we walk, has huge power to interrupt our ‘autopilot’ mode we often use day to day, and gives us new perspectives on life.
Most of us have issues that we find hard to let go and mindfulness can help us deal with them more productively. We can ask: ‘Is trying to solve this by brooding about it helpful, or am I just getting caught up in my thoughts?’
When you’re feeling down, try to examine your thoughts. If they’re negative or critical, challenge them. Once you get into the habit of disputing negative self-talk you’ll find it easier to handle difficult situations, and as a result you’ll feel less stressed and more confident and in control.
Sometimes you might confuse your thoughts or feelings with reality, or assume that your perceptions are correct. Ask yourself: Am I thinking this way just because I’m feeling bad right now? Just because I’m feeling this way, does that mean my perceptions are correct?