Your stories, memories, and experiences have shaped your personality but they are still only stories. They may have been real once, but are definitely not real now. They exist only inside your head, as fleeting thoughts, beliefs, pictures, and ideas of “self”.
It is okay to cut toxic people out of your life. You don’t need their negativity, and you’re much better off without them. You are not required to argue that your existence is worthwhile, and it’s okay to decide not to waste your time and energy on them.
Treat people kindly, for your own sake as well as theirs. In the end, you will be the one who suffers, as you will have to live with yourself knowing what you’ve done. Respond with compassion and help others to do the same.
Although we all have differences, ultimately we are all the same, and we all feel lost at times. We all have the same feelings, and we all need to give love and to be loved.
Learning to appreciate the little gestures someone does for you will help you see the true beauty of your relationship and help you appreciate having them in your life.
There are many gestures besides roses and candlelight dinners that can be far more meaningful, such as when your partner washes the dishes, cooks you a meal, or washes your car – when they do something thoughtful for you.
What are the stories you tell yourself about your life? About your happiness, what you can allow yourself, the kind of work you can do, how much money you can make, the opportunities available to you?
The stories of a person, a family, a culture, a country – they hold us, bind us in ways which are potentially fruitful or harmful, and can give us an identity. They can influence and also undermine us.
It is important to work out your budget regularly for example, every six months to check that you are managing your money well, and to do a new budget each time your circumstances change such as moving house, going on holiday or if you lose your job.
If you have a negative bank balance and your outgoings include debt repayments, you can contact StepChange debt charity / National Debtline / Citizens Advice Bureau. They may help you reduce your repayments, transfer your debts to a better lender, or have a debt adviser who can help you.