If you shift your attention away from yourself and onto others – compassionately taking interest in their concerns – shyness may become a thing of the past.
Introverts prefer solitary to social activities as they get no reward from social activities, but do not fear social encounters like shy people do.
Shyness has three characteristics that involve a sense of self: excessive self-consciousness, excessive negative self-evaluation and excessive negative self-preoccupation.
The primary defining characteristic of shyness is a largely ego-driven fear of what other people will think of a person’s behaviour, which results in the person becoming scared of doing or saying what he or she wants to, out of fear of negative reactions, criticism, rejection, and simply opting to avoid social situations instead.
When the water in a tank is polluted, all taps will only give polluted water. Your heart is the tank. When it is filled with good thoughts and feelings, all that comes out of the senses – your speech, your vision, your actions – will be pure.
Introverts enjoy thinking, exploring their thoughts and feelings, with a desire to be quietly introspective. Conversations are considered, and generally about ideas and concepts.
Extroverts tend to think as they speak, and are typically good at approaching new people and making social “chit chat”. Concepts don’t seem real unless they can talk about them.
An introvert is likely to enjoy time spent alone and find less reward in time spent with large groups of people. They prefer to concentrate on a single activity at a time and like to observe situations before they participate. They are more analytical before speaking.
Extroverts enjoy human interactions and are enthusiastic and talkative, taking pleasure in activities that involve large social gatherings – they tend to be energised when around other people.
‘Bad’ behaviour is often caused by an unfulfilled need. Addressing the need is often a much more effective strategy than addressing the behaviour.