Sometimes, you’ll take two steps forward, and one step back. That’s normal and healthy. Don’t judge yourself too harshly for slip-ups or backslides; rather, keep yourself focused on the positive steps you have made and will make next.
Learn to look at all of yourself from the most loving perspective. You are the exact right combination of experiences, insights, strengths, and imperfections that make a person whole.
Maybe you’re feeling like you’re not okay. You’re still whole. Trust in the process of working it out as you go and picking up the little gems along the way. No part of this needs to be perfect. Take any step in the direction that feels closer to whole.
All the things you’ve done and the things you’ve seen, the people you’ve known, the heartbreaks you’ve stitched back together, the plans you’ve made, and the plans you’ve had to let go, the celebrations and growing pains are part of your wholeness.
You’ve said just the right thing at the right time, and said things you didn’t mean. You’ve been right and wrong, hard and soft, fearless and afraid. You’ve felt pride, shame, joy, sorrow, serenity, distress. And you will again.
The shift toward feeling whole is about loving the whole of yourself fully and openly. Not in spite of the flaws but including the flaws. It’s the parts of you that you don’t want to see, that are struggling to keep up, that need your love the most.
Recognising your wholeness does not mean striving for perfection. Being whole means seeing perfection and imperfection, hurting and healing, fear and courage, the shadows and the light, as parts of yourself. These are all part of your wholeness.
While many of us place a lot of worth on external achievement, there are many variables beyond our control that influence the outcome of a situation. Even if we do our best and do everything right, we might still feel “not good enough” because those external variables mean we didn’t get the gold star.
Others have different ideas about what “good enough” means and looks like, but you have no control over that. There will always be someone who is more talented, more accomplished, more X and more Y than you are. The only person it’s helpful for you to compare yourself to is the “you” from yesterday.
If you try something and it doesn’t work out, it might feel painful in the short-term, but you’ll feel much better and prouder of yourself looking back and knowing you’ve tried, than looking back at a missed opportunity.