Short messages on Mental health, stress and anxiety issues from Respect Yourself, the guidance site for young people to help make good decisions in life.
Understand that your addiction to negative thinking is based on the illusion that you can avoid pain by experiencing negativity on your own terms. You have what it takes to face the pain and negativity. As sure as day follows night, know that in time the pain will subside.
Self-acceptance allows us to acknowledge all aspects of ourselves without clinging or judgement. Instead of fixating on the bad, it means loving all of who we are. It means having the courage to correct any behaviours that are harmful without engaging in self-loathing.
There is a difference between being patient and being passive. You can patiently accept change while at the same time actively pursuing strategies to get yourself used to the new circumstances, emotionally and otherwise.
The key to accepting change is to have an open mind and to accept everything as it presents itself. The change will occur, like it or not; you cannot control it. Remember, with this change you have the ability to shape your response in a positive way.
If you’ve been keeping a situation to yourself, it may seem more overwhelming than it actually is. The person you talk with might help you see the situation in a new or different perspective, and will be more neutral about what’s going on if the outcome won’t affect them personally.
Talking about your feelings can help you make sense of them. Sometimes, just verbalising what is upsetting you to someone you trust can help you sort through your feelings, or make the situation clearer.
By practising meditation, you can observe your thoughts without identifying with them. You are not your thoughts; observe them without judgement. Watch them come and go without clinging to them. Watch long enough and you’ll see that your negative thoughts have no power over you.
Negative thinking often begins with the unrealistic expectations that the path should be clear for whatever you’re trying to accomplish. When things go wrong, this doesn’t need to reaffirm the idea that you’re no good at anything. Instead of dreading failure, look forward to it as an opportunity to learn.
Some life changes will be completely beyond your control, such as a friend moving away. Even when you do have some amount of control, you still cannot control that the change will happen. However, you always have the ability to control how you respond to the change.
Once you’ve determined precisely what change is happening in your life, you can develop coping strategies that are best suited to deal with the circumstances.