Accepting responsibility for doing something means accepting the consequences as well as the successes.
You can’t change the past, but you can take your new set of circumstances and challenges and plan a strategy to get back to where you want to be. Any time we practice adapting, we create the possibility of happiness that doesn’t depend on perfect conditions.
Your opinion matters a lot to your siblings. We often work on our relationships with friends, schoolmates and co-workers; our family relationships need work too. Small acts of support can go a long way.
It’s easy to get upset if people or parents compare you and your siblings. Remember that you’re very different people with different talents, interests and abilities; recognise these positive attributes and value your siblings for their different qualities.
Sometimes sibling fights can escalate to physical violence, especially if one feels defensive. Remember that violence is never an acceptable way to deal with feelings, and will hurt you both, both physically and emotionally.
We often think we know what other people are thinking, and assume they are focused on our faults and weaknesses. But this is often wrong. Ask yourself, “How do I know what other people are thinking? Just because I assume something, does that mean I’m right?”
You don’t need to play the self-blame game: personalising everything and blaming yourself for anything that goes wrong, even when it’s not your fault or responsibility. Instead, find all the causes. What else could explain it? Is it really all about you?
You may find that you hone in on the negative aspects of a situation as the first thing you do, ignoring or dismissing all the positive aspects. Instead, consider the whole picture. Find a more balanced way to look at this situation.
Making unfair comparisons between certain individuals and yourself is a common thinking error, and can leave you feeling inadequate. When you do this, you compare yourself with people who you know have a specific advantage over you in some area.
If you talk to your sibling about how you’re feeling, use “I” phrases such as “I feel frustrated that you…”, so you don’t lay blame and put them on the defensive.