Short messages on Relationships issues from Respect Yourself, the guidance site for young people to help make good decisions in life.
If your friend learns that you have been gossiping about them, be strong and apologise. Avoid making excuses. Explain that you now realise that it is both wrong and hurtful and you have made a determined decision to stop the gossiping habit.
Promise yourself that you will not repeat any gossip you hear and that you will stop yourself immediately if you find yourself starting it up again.
Help yourself to heal past hurts that might have lead to gossiping habits, by letting go of old wounds, forgiving the errors others have made toward you, and forgiving yourself for having given in to an age-old human vice.
If you’ve been using gossip about your friends to make yourself look better or to fit in more with others, ask yourself why you’d rather appear popular with strangers than feel loyal toward and contented with the friends who are a significant source of support, loyalty and trust in your life.
Make an effort to put yourself in your friend’s place when sharing information – as if someone were sharing the information about you. If you might be embarrassed about people knowing it, think about how your friend might feel; it’s probably exactly the same.
When you think about talking about another friend behind their back, think about how negative that makes you appear and how even those listening will be thinking twice about trusting you.
By participating in an ecotherapy project, you could meet new people, lessen any isolation and loneliness, and increase your sense of belonging, build your peer support network, create more of a structure to your week, and make connections with people which may develop into long-term friendships.
Positive social skills include open, respectful and direct communication techniques, maintaining a positive attitude, and having a sense of humour when faced with challenges.
It’s hard to offer compassion when you assume you have the other person figured out. Instead, let them know they are not alone. People overcome the forces of negative emotions like anger and hatred when the counter-forces of love and support are present.
If someone tries to pressure you to drink more than you’d normally, or take drugs, or have sex when you’re not ready, set your boundaries. If they reject you because you say no, they’re not good enough to be a part of your life. Respect yourself and walk away.