If you pause and take the time to analyse why someone may be acting with jealousy, you can begin to understand what may be motivating their behaviours, which then makes it easier to empathise with their circumstance.
Take a step back and pause when you are getting treated unfairly because of someone’s jealousy. Remind yourself that it is not you that has the problem, it is them. Their jealousy and underlying issues are causing them to act this way.
All the things you’ve done and the things you’ve seen, the people you’ve known, the heartbreaks you’ve stitched back together, the plans you’ve made, and the plans you’ve had to let go, the celebrations and growing pains are part of your wholeness.
You’ve said just the right thing at the right time, and said things you didn’t mean. You’ve been right and wrong, hard and soft, fearless and afraid. You’ve felt pride, shame, joy, sorrow, serenity, distress. And you will again.
The point of practising gratitude is not to disregard negative emotions. It’s important to allow yourself to feel and experience those as well. Rather, the point is to also recognise the good. Sometimes we can get caught up focusing on what is “wrong” and lose sight of all that is “right.”
Write down everything that is good and positive. Are you thankful for a loving mother? A supportive father? Even something like having a roof over your head counts. Write it all down and reflect upon it. Practising gratitude can give you perspective.
It is important for you to find a healthy way to deal with your feelings before they become overwhelming. Some options include: express yourself creatively, keep a diary or journal, talk to someone, or seek professional help.
If you have flashbacks of a stressful event, have bad dreams, lose your appetite or sleep, or become distant from day-to-day activities and these experiences persist, you may want to consult your doctor, a counsellor, or other mental health professional.
Most jealousy is rooted in feelings of inadequacy; they see something in you that makes them feel that they aren’t as good. Real or imagined, negative thoughts or actions emerge as a reaction or solution to those feelings of inadequacy.
It can hurt to have a friend who is jealous, because the actions and emotional expressions of a jealous person are not kind or loving, and you may take it personally. Their jealousy is caused by their own underlying issues and it is not your fault.