If you’re feeling stressed, sometimes getting some space and a change of scenery can be helpful. It’s important to give yourself permission to do this regularly. Go for a walk, listen to music, read a book, or go to the cinema – whatever works for you.
Sometimes expectations are focused on one outcome and if you don’t meet it, you might feel disappointed or like you’ve failed…but usually there are a number of ways to achieve a goal. Try to have a couple of strategies for achieving your goals.
Sometimes it can be helpful to re-think your own expectations. This can help you decide if your goals are achievable. It can help to ask yourself, “What would I suggest to a friend in this situation?”
Sometimes a person who is setting unreasonable expectations might be unaware that they are putting unfair pressure on you. When you talk to them, it might be helpful to say something like “When you treat me like this, then I feel…”
If you’re feeling pressured, talk to someone outside the situation, like a friend, parent or teacher. They are in a good position to help you identify expectations and help you work out strategies to deal with them.
Too much pressure from others’ expectations can affect you psychologically (feeling helpless, depressed or low), socially (relationship problems like fighting or poor communication, or difficulty concentrating at school or work) and physically (feeling tired or ill).
Others place expectations on you: they may want the best for you, and want you to have what they couldn’t. Some may try to place their principles on you, where their values are not ones that you would choose for yourself, and expect you to live up to them as they had to.
Everyone has goals and expectations for themselves. Some feel that meeting high expectations is the only way to gain the approval of others, or that achievement is the only way to be happy. Some set high expectations for themselves to push them to strive for and achieve bigger and better things.
If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed by a situation, step back and realise this feeling isn’t permanent – nothing is. Then focus on action steps – on the things you can control. What can you do today to proactively create a solution?
Build a reputation for not participating in drama. Speak less, listen more. Be an observer. You have time to hear and see the drama and sidestep it. Not everything needs a reaction.