Sympathy is about feeling for someone: seeing their distress and realising that they are suffering. Compassion means to act on this, to ease their suffering. Empathy is about experiencing those feelings for yourself, as if you were that person, through the power of imagination.
We can increase our own level of empathy by getting out of our own head and actively imagining what someone else might be experiencing.
Being mindfully aware of your surroundings, especially the behaviours and expressions of other people, is crucial for empathy. Practicing mindfulness in this way helps us take the perspectives of other people yet not feel overwhelmed when we encounter their negative emotions.
If you accept the present moment, you can let go of resistance. If you let yourself cry it out, you can let go of sadness. These things can help you find more peace.
If you empathise with someone who hurt you, you can let go of bitterness. If you understand someone who annoys you, you can let go of judgment. If you have compassion for yourself, you can let go of self-recrimination.
Treat people kindly, for your own sake as well as theirs. In the end, you will be the one who suffers, as you will have to live with yourself knowing what you’ve done. Respond with compassion and help others to do the same.
Try not to use alcohol or other drugs – including lots of caffeine or other energy drinks – in the hope of feeling better or forgetting expectations and pressure. The feeling is usually temporary and the effects often make you feel worse.
Expectations can lead to a lot of stress. It’s important to take time out to do something that you enjoy. Although you might not feel like it or have time, exercising, eating well and getting plenty of sleep can help you feel better.
If you need to express your emotions you can do this in ways that won’t cause you bodily harm, or damage to another person or property, like yelling, punching or crying into a pillow, or dancing round the room to loud music.
Writing down your feelings in a journal or private online space can be a great way to gain some insight into a situation and reduce the power of unrealistic expectations. Expressing yourself creatively can also help you think about alternative solutions to problems.