When something sad happens, allow yourself to feel the sadness without over-analysing. It will pass. Increasing your capacity to tolerate your feelings without repression is important.
People have feelings come up that are difficult to tolerate, and unconsciously send them away. This is known as repression. To avoid these uncomfortable feelings, our minds often employ defense mechanisms like pain or anxiety.
You don’t need to bully yourself, pressure yourself, or scare yourself with your thoughts. The first step towards self-compassion is noticing these thoughts as they arise.
You need to care about the fact that you’re suffering before you can really work toward changing it.
Abusing yourself psychologically has consequences. Just as a child might rebel if treated abusively or neglectfully, the body can rebel as well in the form of pain, anxiety, or depression.
There are three primary ways that people psychologically abuse themselves: self-criticism, putting pressure on themselves, and unnecessary fear.