We can get caught up in our secondary emotions around pain such as anger or anxiety, while blocking our most primary and important feelings, such as hurt or sadness. Sometimes you can experience relief when allowing your most primary and painful emotions to express themselves.
Focus on where you are now. What have you overcome? What resources have you used to get past the pain? Rather than venting, sink deeper into your most primary feelings about the situation and allow yourself to really experience them.
You may think that you’re no longer worrying about what caused the pain, but as soon as there is an open ear willing to listen, you find yourself retelling the story. At first this can help, but at some point you have to stop telling the story; you’re just re-opening the wound.
If nothing can be done about your emotional pain, your only and best choice is simply to accept what is and allow yourself to feel what you feel. It can be helpful to process your feelings with a friend, counsellor or to write them out in a journal.
Don’t torture yourself by fixating on what caused the pain you’re suffering from. What has happened has already been done and cannot be undone. Going over it again and again in your mind will only make things worse for you. Ask yourself, what can you do now?
While suffering from emotional pain you may not even want to get out of bed. Yet, moving when you’re feeling down can give you energy and lift your spirits. Any type of physical movement can help you release the pain from your body. Go for a short walk, try yoga or dance to music.
Try a new hobby, something that you’ve always wanted to try or something that you know you love but haven’t made the time for. Create a vision board and paste images of everything that speaks to you. Use this to help you identify your interests and passions.
Shopping, food, and alcohol aren’t a problem on their own in moderation, but when any of them become your primary coping strategy against emotional pain, it can lead to more stress than relief.
Once you’ve determined precisely what change is happening in your life, you can develop coping strategies that are best suited to deal with the circumstances.