If you accept the present moment, you can let go of resistance. If you let yourself cry it out, you can let go of sadness. These things can help you find more peace.
If you empathise with someone who hurt you, you can let go of bitterness. If you understand someone who annoys you, you can let go of judgment. If you have compassion for yourself, you can let go of self-recrimination.
You have stories, but you are not your stories. You have labels, but you are not your labels. Make a list of everything you are, maybe 200 things. Return to your list regularly: keep adding to it or cross a few things out, which are no longer true for you.
Your stories, memories, and experiences have shaped your personality but they are still only stories. They may have been real once, but are definitely not real now. They exist only inside your head, as fleeting thoughts, beliefs, pictures, and ideas of “self”.
Try not to use alcohol or other drugs – including lots of caffeine or other energy drinks – in the hope of feeling better or forgetting expectations and pressure. The feeling is usually temporary and the effects often make you feel worse.
Expectations can lead to a lot of stress. It’s important to take time out to do something that you enjoy. Although you might not feel like it or have time, exercising, eating well and getting plenty of sleep can help you feel better.
If you need to express your emotions you can do this in ways that won’t cause you bodily harm, or damage to another person or property, like yelling, punching or crying into a pillow, or dancing round the room to loud music.
Writing down your feelings in a journal or private online space can be a great way to gain some insight into a situation and reduce the power of unrealistic expectations. Expressing yourself creatively can also help you think about alternative solutions to problems.
If you’re feeling stressed, sometimes getting some space and a change of scenery can be helpful. It’s important to give yourself permission to do this regularly. Go for a walk, listen to music, read a book, or go to the cinema – whatever works for you.
The Universe does not owe you anything. Be grateful for any blessings that you have. Do not let anything slip away. No matter what happens, try to enjoy the life you have. No-one else can enjoy it for you.