Sometimes a counsellor is needed to help when the emotional pain is just too much and you can’t get a grasp on it. There is nothing wrong with this. Painful events in life can seem too much to bear, and speaking to a counsellor will help.
Keep a gratitude jar. At the end of the day each person writes one thing they’re grateful for on a slip of paper and places it into the jar. At the end of the month/year you can open and read them together or whenever you need to remember the good things.
The point of practising gratitude is not to disregard negative emotions. It’s important to allow yourself to feel and experience those as well. Rather, the point is to also recognise the good. Sometimes we can get caught up focusing on what is “wrong” and lose sight of all that is “right.”
Write down everything that is good and positive. Are you thankful for a loving mother? A supportive father? Even something like having a roof over your head counts. Write it all down and reflect upon it. Practising gratitude can give you perspective.
Put relationship situations into perspective: “I feel like I will have trouble trusting again. However, I know that one person out of the millions that surround me every day caused this. There will be others worthy of my trust.”
It’s important that you can trust the person you decide to speak with about a situation. This could be a friend, someone older, a family member, teacher, counsellor, doctor or nurse. If they don’t have the experience to provide the support you need, they could refer you to a specialist.
Talking through your concerns can be a great way to vent and release pent-up tension. Just “getting the problem out” can help you feel better. Not only does it feel great, but it can also give you new insights into what’s happening in your life.
If you’ve been keeping a situation to yourself, it may seem more overwhelming than it actually is. The person you talk with might help you see the situation in a new or different perspective, and will be more neutral about what’s going on if the outcome won’t affect them personally.
While you can’t emotionally detach yourself from the experience of life changes, you can try to take a step back and look at things from a distance. Try writing down exactly what has changed and how it has impacted you.
Look at your life outside the realm of your current circumstances. See yourself 40 years in your future, and 30 years in your past. We all have very real problems and situations to deal with; some are in our control while others are not.