It’s not always easy to understand a feeling when it happens, especially if you think you shouldn’t feel it – but forget about ‘should’. Instead, try to pinpoint exactly what you feel – scared, frustrated, ashamed, angry – and then pinpoint what might be the cause.
Low emotional intelligence: you might be oversensitive to other people’s feelings in response to you, obsess about problems until you find a concrete solution, frequently feel a flood of emotions that you can’t attribute to a specific life event: you may feel bad far more often than you feel good.
If you have high emotional intelligence, you likely regulate your emotions well; handle uncertainties and difficulties without excessive panic, stress, and fear; and avoid overreacting to situations before knowing the full details.
Emotional intelligence: you understand what’s going on in your head and heart; you don’t make hasty decisions on impulse; you can motivate yourself to delay gratification; you listen to, understand, and relate to other people well; you’re able to focus on other people.
To deal with emotional pain, you can develop emotional intelligence, learn to sit with negative feelings, and create situations for positive feelings.
Be aware that if you don’t deal with your feelings from events large and small now, they might end up later dealing with you.
The emotional pain that we are dealing with are really only thoughts.
It’s not your fault if other people do bad things to you. You are not responsible for other people’s actions.
We need both sadness and happiness in our lives. Sometimes we have trouble accepting sadness as part of our lives, but it’s important to acknowledge it before we can move on.
“Pain is part of life and we can’t avoid it by resisting it. We can only minimize it by accepting it and dealing with it well.” – Lori Deschene