If you’re feeling pressured, talk to someone outside the situation, like a friend, parent or teacher. They are in a good position to help you identify expectations and help you work out strategies to deal with them.
Too much pressure from others’ expectations can affect you psychologically (feeling helpless, depressed or low), socially (relationship problems like fighting or poor communication, or difficulty concentrating at school or work) and physically (feeling tired or ill).
Others place expectations on you: they may want the best for you, and want you to have what they couldn’t. Some may try to place their principles on you, where their values are not ones that you would choose for yourself, and expect you to live up to them as they had to.
Everyone has goals and expectations for themselves. Some feel that meeting high expectations is the only way to gain the approval of others, or that achievement is the only way to be happy. Some set high expectations for themselves to push them to strive for and achieve bigger and better things.
If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed by a situation, step back and realise this feeling isn’t permanent – nothing is. Then focus on action steps – on the things you can control. What can you do today to proactively create a solution?
Build a reputation for not participating in drama. Speak less, listen more. Be an observer. You have time to hear and see the drama and sidestep it. Not everything needs a reaction.
“Expectations” come from many different places: yourself, your family, peers, school, teammates, work and even society can expect you to behave, dress, date and work in certain ways.
“Expectations” are when you feel pressure to achieve certain goals, behave in a particular manner or even look a certain way. They can challenge or motivate you to do your best; however, unrealistic expectations could have a negative impact on your thoughts, feelings and behaviour.
For every feeling and situation, you can accept that there is an alternative – you can choose to interpret the situation a different way, soothe yourself, and then feel something different. No one else causes our feelings. Only we can choose and change them.
Find the cause of the feeling you’re having and notice the effect, e.g. you didn’t give yourself enough time for homework, so now you feel stressed. Anytime you feel something uncomfortable that you’d rather avoid, put a magnifying glass on it. Once you know what you feel, you can now challenge both the cause and the effect.