Short messages on Relationships issues from Respect Yourself, the guidance site for young people to help make good decisions in life.
Having breasts does not mean a girl is ready for sex. A girl’s breasts start to develop at puberty, around age 10 to 16, but this doesn’t mean she should start having sex, or that she will feel ready.
Having an abortion does not mean you’re unlikely to get pregnant again. You will also need to use reliable contraception to avoid becoming pregnant as fertility returns almost immediately after the abortion.
Being assertive is neither passive nor aggressive: you act and encourage others to be open and honest about their views, wishes and feelings, so that both parties act appropriately.
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Aggressive behaviour includes being loud and opinionated, dominating the conversation, often interrupting, and rarely listening. If they disagree with you, this is often done with sarcasm or a putdown.
By responding passively, individuals are more inclined to portray themselves in a negative light or put themselves down and, as a result, may actually come to feel inferior to others.
Responding in a passive or non-assertive way tends to mean compliance with the wishes of others and can undermine individual rights and self-confidence.
Assertiveness is based on balance. It requires being forthright about your wants and needs while still considering the rights, needs, and wants of others.
“Assertiveness” is the ability to speak up for ourselves in a way that is honest and respectful, and helps us do the things we want to do. This skill can be learned.
Plotting against someone means you are spending your time, thoughts and energy on someone you don’t like anyway. Spend those things instead on yourself and the people you do like.